Non-custodial parents are constantly robbed and abused.

I can understand the need for governments to offer financial support to those going through difficult times, including the sick, injured, retired, temporarily unemployed and some recently separated parents with young children. But that is where my understanding ends and the support should stop.

Prior to separation, I had been staying at my home with my son full time, while his mother worked part time. Earlier I had started a Bachelor of Arts degree and aimed to complete my studies around the time that our son started school. My son’s mother had no interest in having or raising a second child; indeed my primary role in our son’s care was a decision we made when his mother suggested having an abortion. Our son is my only child, and I had designed and built a beautiful home long before I even met my x-partner, in anticipation a being a father and having a family.

In the weeks leading up to our separation, my x-partner asked me to phone WINZ to see if we could get more assistance. I did this very reluctantly, because we had plenty of money (several thousand dollars in the bank), and her under-the-table work (much to my frustration) meant we were actually doing well.

During the phone call with WINZ, I was told that we couldn’t get any more support than we were already receiving. We were getting $430 per week from WINZ to support the four of us; the mother was on maternity leave (but working part time under-the-table), I was about to return to university part time while caring for our son, her teen aged daughter and our baby boy. I then asked the WINZ case worker how much the mother would get if there was just her and the two children. I was astounded when the case worker finished her calculations and said $430. Effectively, WINZ didn’t allow one single dollar, or even one single cent for the father in our family, even though I was doing well in my studies (A+ average), primarily cared for our child, provided a home and did 95% of the house work. When I got off the phone, I told my x-partner how much she would get if I wasn’t in the picture, and you guessed it, just a couple of weeks later she made a false complaint to the police, cleaned out our bank accounts, and off she went to a women’s refuge taking our son but leaving me the bills. Regardless of my primary role in our son’s care and the mother’s admission to the police that her complaint was false, the Police escorted her and my son away and the Family Court has refused to have a custody hearing in the three years since our separation. This is not a typo; three (3) years without a custody hearing. My son has been waiting 80% of his life to be returned to his primary caregiver, or at least have his care and contact decided.

In the meantime however, I am forced to pay child support, legal fees, catch up with the bills left by the mother, and forced to live on virtually nothing. Child support meant I couldn’t possibly continue my university studies (a major blow for both my son and I). My son is in my care 6 out of 14 days, and half of all holidays (week about). During the holidays (12 weeks per year), the mother still receives the full DPB, even though our son is with me as much as her, and during this time I have to pay both child support and provide all the necessities of life for my son, including food, clothing, entertainment, educational resources, transport and medical costs. What do custodial parents do with all that DPB/child support during times of EQUAL shared parenting?

The mother is able to go shopping almost every day (her favorite pastime), bought a lap-top computer days after she left me, dresses our son exclusively in Pumpkin Patch clothing, she told me she is buying a leather lounge suite, and I heard recently that she is planning her second overseas holiday since CHOOSING to leave me and go on the DPB.

The DPB could be considered a reward for lying to the police and abducting and alienating (psychologically abusing) children.

One parent chooses to break up a family for no obvious reason (money?); statistics prove this radically affects a child’s life; is rewarded with custody, free lawyers and DPB on tap with no questions asked.

The other parent has for no obvious reason had their life completely turned upside down, their children abducted from them, having to pay off the family bills, pay legal fees, pay mortgage, rates and insurance until the home is inevitably lost, and watch helplessly as their children slowly drift away, and are often alienated from them.

The real problem is that a succession of governments have implemented and enforced a system that divides parents and conquers families (with the help of CYFS and Family Court). One parent (usually the mother) must care for the children, and therefore needs copious amounts of cash to ensure the mother…whoops, the children have a healthy lifestyle; and the other parent (usually the father) must work like a slave to pay for the lifestyle of the mother….whoops, sorry, the children.

The government/Family Court/WINZ/IRD ignores reasons for family break down, ignores complaints, ignores suggestions that certain practices may be in breach of human rights articles (both children’s and parent’s), and ignores the damage that the family destroying policies, agencies and child support system has wreaked on our nation over the past few decades.

My gut feeling is that if the “siege of Helengrad” does not come to an end by the next elections, there will be civil unrest in what used to be a happy “family oriented” nation